phases

i know, i know...you've missed me. you've noticed, right? perhaps you felt you just havent had as much motivation to help you through your week? you couldn't figure out which direction was up without the images of voight dinners and dog tails/tales? lucky you. being the good friend that i am, i am here to save you with yet another post and insight into the voight life.

when i chose the blog title for today, i meant for it to reflect more on the fact that i (along with my husband) am guilty of taking on "phases" of life. for him, his phases are things like learning french, candle making (hey, i hear all the hot men do it these days!) and rock carving. for me, well, mine tend to be along the lines of planning events, things to do and the ongoing diets. and apparently this blog...

putting our efforts together makes us one hot mess. our love for short-lived phases has allowed the phases in our lives to prosper and multiply. remember that one post about flexitarianism? yeah. we still think about it. but must admit our meat intake has not fluctuated much at all. however, i do recognize our phases and can call 'em when i see 'em...so that's a step, right? i guess we are just big dreamers, and no harm in that!

but as i was thinking about our phases and how i may have lost your loyalty as a reader, i started to ponder more about the relevance of the title and how it applies to my life right now. thus, inspiring me to address my struggle for finding my place in this phase of life.

for those of you that know me well, you know just how sensitive and emotional i can be. and going through phases at times when others are not, or vice versa, is a big power struggle for me. which has brought me to my current place of trying to identify those living relationships in my life and letting go of old ones.

and that is hard. how do you define the relationships that are relevant and thriving, and at the same time, let go of old ones? this is where i really struggle. however, in thinking about this, i am finding that many of those relationships most likely died a long time ago and i am only just now realizing it.

and then the turmoil sets in. i take it personally. finding the staleness in those relationships makes me feel guilty, like maybe i should have done something more. but then i think about the efforts i made, and how maybe they let me go a long time ago, but i never noticed...i just kept struggling to keep lines of communication open for the sake of great memories. but then again, why do i feel as though i am responsible for this? they let me go too. so why do i feel guilty? why do i wonder why they don't seem to care about letting go of my friendship?

i know that many friendships in life serve a purpose. some are lifelong. some are merely meant to get you through the drama of high school, the confusion and fun of college or perhaps pull you together during a tough time in life. but i feel a sense of loyalty to those phases in my life that i cant let go. even though they are not loyal back. but im learning, that to be content in life, in my marriage, i need to do it. i have to pull up my pant strings, or shoe strings, or however that saying goes, and fix my emotional problem and just let them go.

the list goes on and on thinking about all the wonderful people who have played a role in my life...i wouldn't be where i am today without them. so thank you to them! however, you can't be everything to everyone and those who are in the now, those invested in me today, are the people that i need to focus on. not the lost college friends who don't make an effort. or the high school friends that left emails unanswered. or the single friend reaching out to other people now that i share my life so much more with one other person. i need to focus on those present day encouragements and great friends who miss me when i take a break from party planning. and find joy in the wonderful man i married.

friendships were not meant to wholly define us or give us our purpose in life. they are just one blessing from God - one that allows you to grow closer to Him. like my husband, our marriage was designed to bring us closer to God. and if that isn't happening, something is failing. i think this applies to friendships. friends should bring you closer to God - whether they are believers that encourage you in your walk or are those who simply challenge you to think about how your relationship with God is being displayed - friends should allow you to grow closer to God. not distract us by causing us to mill over the past or focusing our efforts on keeping the friendship afloat...